The Wrong Definition of Grace

For my entire life, I have been raised in and attended church. I couldn't really tell you too many specific bible stories or Sunday School lessons because there have been SO many and they kind of just run together.  One of the major things I can recall vividly, that has pretty much stuck with me my entire was the story of Grace. I am certain many people will agree, but it seems as though Grace was taught in such a way that you were almost too afraid to use it for what its purposes and intentions are for.

  Now, this is not due to one specific teacher or sermon I heard, as a whole, the church so desperately wanted to keep people on the straight and narrow (rightfully so) that the church didn't do a great job teaching about grace and how it was FOR the Christian, not just the non-christian sinner. 

After all, we're all sinners saved by grace; however, to me grace was really for the "real" sinner because it's just not okay for you to mess up once Jesus begins living in your heart. Stay with me here... 

The church is made up of people, human beings, that are imperfect and trying to do their best. In doing so, it is so easy to focus on something so much that you kind of miss the point. 

Fast forward 15-20 years, and the church as a whole has and is doing a much better, I will even say a great job on talking about and teaching on grace. I will insert, I do see some taking it a little too far; but they will stand accountable for that.  Back to where I'm going with this. I have struggled for as long as I can remember with failing, messing up, and doing things wrong, that I lost my focus on the healing and restoration that comes in grace.

Several  years ago, it was as though the light bulb went off and I understood that grace was for ME. If I blew it, I had a hard time letting God forgive me because I messed up and did not deserve forgiveness. (Please know, NO one has ever told me that, this was my own interpretation of how I let the enemy rob me in this area - super important to note!) 

After Chris and I married, it didn't take too long for the "disputes" to make themselves at home, if you know what I mean?! We both had a lot baggage we brought with us in our marriage. Not against each other, just in our own personal lives. As we started unpacking that baggage over time, there was a lot of forgiveness that took place. It was easy for me to forgive him, but forgiving myself and getting over my issues was not so easy.

It was a struggle. Again, grace. It's for me in my marriage? That just wasn't a concept that I had.

Fast forward a few years and we become parents. That baggage I brought in with me when I got married, yeah it came with me as I became a mom. Days and months, and years of feeling like I've blown this thing as a mom kept piling on.

Back I go to asking for forgiveness because I sincerely knew I had to ask for it, but forgiving myself, and accepting forgiveness...grace for me, again, it wasn't really a concept. 

I can vividly remember the day that I became aware that grace was for me. Grace was there to encourage me, usher in mercy that I really didn't deserve; but because God loves me he offers it to me. Grace was there for me to lean on heavily when I blew it and couldn't find all of the pieces to put back together. Grace was there for me to slowly start unpacking my baggage and leaving it at the altar. Grace was there for me to remind me that everything is going to be okay. Grace was there to soften my somewhat harden heart. Grace was there to carry me. Grace was there to erase those things that I couldn't stop reliving and playing out in my mind. Grace was there for me to rest in when my heart was weary.

Grace was there to stand in my place. Grace doesn't remove the consequences of our actions; but it loves us through them. 

Being a mom, has ashamedly brought out the worst of me at times. When push came to shove, those years of hiding from grace just made their way  forward and if I thought I needed grace then, did I ever need it now! 

Grace has also taught me, that when you stop picking out the flaws in everyone else, God shows you the areas they need grace in their life, too. Not because of their wrong doings, but because of the hurt inside. Hurt they haven't dealt with, refuse to deal with, or feel as though they aren't worthy. I'll even go out on a limb a say maybe it's because they refuse to believe in it.  

Grace exist for you in every aspect of your life.  It's not just when you say that first prayer of forgiveness. It's not just when you know you need to ask for it. It's not for just when you feel kind of guilty. It's for covering your multitude of sins. It's for covering those moments when you blow it. It's for the moments when you just can't get it right. It's for those times when you move forward 3 steps and back 5. It's for moments, when you didn't do anything wrong, you just need encouragement. 

When you let Grace work in your life, the way it was designed for, it will be easier for you to extend grace to those around you. 

One fear I always have if I'm flying somewhere is my luggage getting lost, stolen, or sent to another state/country. It's a scary and almost naked feeling to not have your belongings with you. In life, carrying your "luggage" around with you will only hurt and destroy you, after all your problems aren't meant for you to struggle with. 

"I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Jesus. The Beach & Chicken Strips

It never ceases to amaze me how God is always present in every situation we encounter, even when he seems far away.  

He is always so personal and specific to what we need to hear, feel, etc. This week while Chris was gone, I struggled greatly with my kids. As bad as their behavior was at times I found myself being the ultimate source of the problem. I also found myself with the answer to my problem, I was just to stubborn to take advantage of it.

We're in a series at church about the Holy Spirit and it has been incredible. I had the strong desire Sunday when I left church to want to become more engaged and in tune with allowing the Holy Spirit to move and operate in my life on a more deeper level. Satan knows exactly where to throw the punches below the belt, and for me that is with my kids and their behavior; but also my response and reactions. 

This week was just bad, no other way to describe it.

I had a long time praying with God yesterday and was so convicted and encouraged. This power that as a Christian I have access to, I wasn't utilizing. What I wanted on Sunday wasn't evident in my life at all this week because of my lack of trying. There are some changes happening in my life that are good, even despite the fact that they caught me totally off guard. For some time now God has been dealing with me more in areas of fulfilling the call he has on my life. I have been so consumed with the growing passion I've had for IT (the calling) that I've neglected THE calling in my own home, if I may be honest. 

It's hard for me - and that is no excuse whatsoever. I butt heads with my girls, I have a temper when things don't go my way, my anxiety kicks in and all kinds of emotions go crazy in me. I have said multiple times in my head, "I am not good enough or right for this mom job" not because I don't love my kids, but because I allow them to trigger the worst parts of me. I even freaked out on Chris this week because he said something that I took the wrong way and I ran with it. 

What am I trying to say? I'm a visual person... I picture my life in levels, and when I get one level accomplished, or taken care of I move to the next. 

The Bible talks about the man who built his house on the sand and the man who built his house on the rock. I love how the Message version puts it (while some may disagree, that's okay!).

 Matt. 7:24-27 "24-25 “These words I speak to you are not incidental additions to your life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living. They are foundational words, words to build a life on. If you work these words into your life, you are like a smart carpenter who built his house on solid rock. Rain poured down, the river flooded, a tornado hit—but nothing moved that house. It was fixed to the rock.

26-27 “But if you just use my words in Bible studies and don’t work them into your life, you are like a foolish carpenter who built his house on the sandy beach. When a storm rolled in and the waves came up, it collapsed like a house of cards.”

Regardless of what ever level in life you're on, if you're foundation at the bottom isn't solid everything you've built on it, added to it, accomplished and so on will collapse if the words you have heard and said amen to doesn't become the foundation underneath all of those things. 

Maybe it's your marriage that's falling apart. Maybe it's relationships with your kids. Maybe it's your health. Maybe it's choices you're making. Maybe it's not saying no to things you should be. Maybe it's things you refuse to get over. Maybe it's life, just that word says enough. 

As I sit in Zaxby's writing this, I'm reminded of our trip we took to the beach last year. In fact that's why I came here for lunch because I am missing the beach badly. I had Zaxby's for the first time last year at the beach. I LOVE the beach, and that capital l.o.v.e is a major understatement. The beach just makes me feel all kinds of lovely feelings. The atmosphere, the sound of the ocean, the SMELL of the ocean. I can't get enough of it. As gorgeous, and all of the other amazing things the beach is, it's just sand, water, maybe some rocky places that the water crashes into, and the open sky. Not a thing solid about it. Sure, people build houses on it, but they're built on posts sticking out of the ground, not on an actual foundation. 

Can I encourage you? If it feels like life is crashing in on you. If you are like me and you have rocks on your sandy beach, per say, and the water is crashing into and over you. If any of those things I mentioned above, or didn't mention are affecting you, what is your life built on? I've heard all the right words, they've impacted me, changed me, and challenged me, yet sometimes I only use them when it's convenient, or takes little effort of me.  God has given us ALL that we need to live this life the best way we can live it. SO often we still try to do it on our own. I 100% believe if I would have acted on and worked in the desires and thoughts I had last Sunday, this week would have been totally different for me. Sure my kids may have acted the same, but I would have REacted totally different. I am confident that I wouldn't have felt as discouraged, flustered, more importantly powerless.  Life is chaotic, I get it. But how much LESS would the chaos effect us if we allowed the Holy Spirit to effect us and operate in us? So many Christians are afraid of the Holy Spirit, and that's a lie straight from the enemy. Satan knows how powerful and NEEDED the Holy Spirit is to our Christian life. 

None of us like driving in a car in the dead heat of summer without A/C. What if you went ALL summer hating life, sweating to death and you were the problem. You never turned the A/C on. Time after time Christians continue to live without tapping into their power supply because it takes effort. It takes effort shutting the world out and just spending time in God's presence. It requires a sacrifice of our time. It requires us getting off of our phones (throw's stones in own face). 

Turn on your A/C. If you don't have any, Jesus gave himself for you for free, you're only a prayer away. 

Thirsty and Blindfolded

I read this Good Morning America {click} article and wanted to get mad, real mad, okay maybe I am mad. 

I can sit on that anger and complain or I can put the same amount of effort it takes to get and stay mad and pray. What if as Christians we all did that? It is so much easier to get mad and stay there, more than it is to pray. Pray continuously, maybe spend time fasting in prayer. Not because I want God to make "this" issue go away, but for the souls and lives that the enemy is blinding and taking captive. This is more than a "cultural" issue, it's a heart issue. It's a real issue. There are so many more real issues. The enemy is a real issue. BUT...so is the one who created our bodies, without making a gender mistake, or any other mistake for that matter.

 I've kept quiet and generally keep quiet on "touchy" subjects for my own personal reasons. I just can't anymore. 

I took my kids to the park tonight and on the way home tonight they were dyyyyyyying of thirst. Crying, mad, angry, hateful... Sounds familiar, right? Our bedtime bible story tonight, dated today's date (May 12th) was titled "Thirsty Souls." Funny how God works, right?! Keep reading... 

Referring to John 4:14 that says, "but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst again. For the water I give them to drink will bring eternal life." 

This world is thirsty. People in this world are thirsty. NOTHING can or ever will quench that thirst except for Jesus. You can search your identity through and through; question if there really is a God; mask your hurts with drugs and alcohol; sleep with every person that temporarily makes you feel good; watch things that give an immediate satisfaction; physically hurt yourself to make the real pain go away; but you're still thirsty. 

Why, simply put, it doesn't quench that longing thirst. 

How crazy would it be of my kids to sit there and continue to throw a fit at me and reject the ice cold water that I am trying to give them because they are soooooo thirsty, yet, I have what they need and ultimately want? This happens every day in people's lives. When we put a blindfold on someone we do it for a reason. We don't want them to see the surprise or whatever it is that is on the other side. 

Satan works the exact same way.

Where I work I pass people living on the streets and begging for money at the street corners. Chris preached a message to our students a few Wednesday nights ago about Peter and John and the lame beggar. I have not stopped thinking about that message.  They simply told the man, I don't have any money to give you but I have Jesus, take my hand and get up. The man got up HEALED, went leaping and running because he found his hope, his thirst was satisfied. Peter and John had an experience with Jesus before encountering this man and they didn't keep that experience to themselves. They took it and did something with it and that's exactly what we as Christians should be doing and CAN do. 

This last week God has been impressing some things on my heart that are way outside of my comfort zone and I mean comfort as in stepping in shoes I've never walked in before. It's fixing to be summer and I felt like God told me to start carrying bottles of water in my car and when I'm at lunch or going to and from work to quickly stop and hand them a cold bottle of water. (Using wisdom here!) Through the tossing of this idea, I decided if I'm going to do this I want and need to pray over these bottles of water.  Sounds silly to some, I get it. But, to pray that these bottles mean more to them than water they can physically touch. I've tossed this back and forth in my mind all week actually AND then I read tonight's devotional to my kids about thirsty souls. Giving these people a cold bottle of water may meet there immediate need, but... just what if it met their real need?

If you know Jesus and have encountered Him. I want to encourage you to quit keeping your experience to yourself. This world is full of hurting, angry and mad thirsty people and you have their answer. Maybe they are too blinded by the enemy to see the water in your hand. So pray over them. Instead of casting judgement and your angry opinions of their lifestyle(s) over them cast the love of Christ over them. They're dying of thirst and nothing you do will satisfy that until you offer them Jesus, and until they can see their need for Him. 

If you haven't experienced Jesus before, I hope after you have read this your curiosity has turned into a desire to know Him. Maybe you have encountered Jesus before, but you're currently not present in the relationship. He is still there, waiting on and waiting for you. 

Imagine that feeling you have when it's 110 degrees outside and your mouth is SO dry and parched and all you keep saying, is "I'm dyyyyyyyyyyyyyying." 

Sound familiar?